Words…

Words…

IMG_6974
You said… you said a lot of things….
I’ve had only your words to lean on…. your actions, throught the weeks, the months, the years, have taught me what I still have to learn from Life…. I just wished I had paid attention to your words earlier… and I wish you had paid attention to mine…  I have believed in you… I have hoped, I have wished… I have dreamed…  I have dreamed a life that was not mine… I have dreamed of a man that I had no right to claim as mine… you know, even if I only have my words to say it, I have been all and exclusively yours…. from the fucking beginning and this has been, so far, my biggest mistake….. because I thought I deserved the same in return…..
This is painfull to say the least…
I don’t know what more I can say at the moment… and this is why I haven’t been on here lately.  I just needed, for now, to “word it out”…
Be well My Friends!
Much Love, always xox
The Courage to Let Go… & to Live and Let Live!

The Courage to Let Go… & to Live and Let Live!

My 3 girls & grandbabies...
My 3 girls & grandbabies...

My 3 girls & grandbabies…

Life sometimes compels us to accept things that before would have appeared us unacceptable… Do not be afraid to let go of taken… even to our children… What I realize now is that by releasing taken and in accepting the life choices  that my daughters made, I took the right decision… And I think that this was the most beautiful life lesson that a parent may bequeath his child…
My 2 older daughters, Mélodie and Audrey, dropped out of school early… too early compared to the ‘normalcy’, to what is a “requirement” which is dictated by the society… Yes it was difficult to accept, I can’t say otherwise, I finished my high school and dreamed of going to College… Then, they both had children… still there, too young compared to the so-called ‘normality’! It’s been quite an ordeal… There were moments of sadness, rage, anger on my part; I did not accept… Then I myself am “made to the idea”… what could I do more? The law, as strange as it may seem, tells us: ‘you are responsible for the education of your children (Yes, okay, no problem with that!)… because of this, your children must attend school until the age of 16, otherwise you could be in trouble! Your girls are pregnant? Ahhh, but you have no power of decision there on… As soon as they are 14 years old, they become responsible for their own choice, medically speaking… Wow, in what kind of “fucked up” World we live…
Anyway… It was not the topic I wanted to address… All I wanted to say is that I am proud that my girls have taken responsibility for their choices… and that today, they assume very well these choices! OK, they are not graduates but they are not “worse persons”!
My role in all this? Having “pounded” on my pride and accepted their choice! Having walked proudly alongside them while they wore their children (it may appear weird said like that, but believe me, people judge you constantly because you have “let do it”!) Then, let them know that no matter what happens, regardless of the path they take, I am there for them… And I love them as they are…
I am proud to have left my daughters the power to make their own decisions… in the end, they have just done what I did! They do what they believe is good for themselves and will fight to the end to enforce their choices… and as such, they accept my own choices because this is the only real option available…
Respect people in what they really ARE, isn’t this the greatest proof of Love you can give them?
Much Love, Always
Isabelle xox

Accepting the Changes…

As posted in GetGreen

Slower “Blogging” Start than previously planned…

Hello my Friends!

I would like to be more present to my 2 blogs, but there are a lot of things going on in my Life at the moment… a lot of changes in my “plans”…  I know everything is going to be alright soon (I hope!!)… My head is full of projects and I have to find out where to start but before, I have some “serious things” to achieve… like… my moving in 1 month (I haven’t found an apartment yet!), issues with my lil one and …. ohhhh and a few more worries!

I promise to be back on track as soon as I can!

Much Love Always xox

Are you Present?

Are you Present?

lake yoga

I’ve just read this great post written by Rob Hatch and I recommend it…  It really is something to think about…

You can read it here: http://www.humanbusinessworks.com/one-goal

I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did!

Much Love Always xo

You want to be a Blogger? Your Dream is about to come TRUE!

You want to become the BEST blogger?  Tanya gives YOU the opportunity to realize your dream! Take her  4 weeks online class + 1 year of hosting for FREE…

Yes, for FREE!!!

Just click on the image below and I PROMISE you won’t regret it! :-)

blogelina-AN-728x90

Where does your inspiration come from?

Where does your inspiration come from?

IMG_5238.jpg

Inspiration can come to us in many different ways… It could be a song, a person, art, nature, etc… In my whole Life, a few persons have been inspiring me; their words to me are impregnated in my memory and will live there forever. They have given me strenght, courage, freedom and probably more. But as Life goes by, bringing it’s “bunch” of “tests”, I constantly get down and I need my daily dose of inspiration to stay on track!

For about 1 1/2 year, I am not very “active”… well, I can not really say this because my Life has been a rollercoaster… I have probably learned more about ME in this time than I ever had before!! But the truth of the matter is that I spend most of my days browsing internet and “socializing” on Facebook!! Okay, some people may think and say that Facebook is not “the real Life” and, I don’t blame them! They are quite right but Hey, it is my Life after all… I can do whatever I want of it!!! This said, there are “REAL PEOPLE” behind this virtual social network. Real people who have something to say, something to share, REAL PEOPLE who are INSPIRING ME!! :D  I have Friends on Facebook, Real Friends (I hope they feel the same!). Some are more present in my Life than the others but, they all have their place, they are all important to Me!

When I think about inspiration, a song comes to my mind… http://youtu.be/WAWFGIr-GV8  Ohh and another: http://youtu.be/YgFyi74DVjc  It’s simple, those songs CARRY ME… They bring me up ALWAYS!!

I want to share a link with You, it’s a Facebook page that I LOOOOOOOOVE… This woman, Shari, is My Daily Inspiration… Take a look at her page, I promise you won’t regret! https://www.facebook.com/sharing.w.shari?fref=ts

Those are, at the moment, my greatest sources of inspiration and before I end, I want to say THANK YOU to David & Jessica ( I love YOU) and to each and every one of my Facebook Friends; You are important to Me!

You, where does your inspiration come from?

Much Love Always xox

Struggling in order to Grow?!

The last weeks (read “months”) have been draining me…. “Killing” truths to face, decisions to make, unwanted loads to bear… I’m still fighting to get up on my feet, I’m still searching for this place where I belong… The problem is that I know what I want to do, where I want to go and with who I want to be but for some reason, it is not possible for now… Some changes are coming and I know, deep within me, that I make the best decision for ME… It is far from being the easiest decision of my Life but I feel I’m doing the right thing. I will talk  about this heartbreaking decision, not today thought but I will in the near future.  Let’s just say that, after having tried everything I could, after having reached for help, I just feel empty and weak… This situation can not last longer, it would kill me, so I have to Let Go… in order to make my tomorrow a better day!

Much Love to Everyone xox

Isabelle

Speaking The Truth

Speaking The Truth

speak-the-truth

For most of my Life, I have been told to “shut up”… I have been mentally & emotionnaly abused because I was keeping my feelings for myself… About 4 or 5 years ago, I have decided that it was enough and started to work on it… It has been a long and hard work but, I think, worth it… Well, I’m still learning.  (Sorry, I’m searching my words)  I think that in order to be true to Myself, I must always be honest and true to the others… and I use to be.  So, when I have started chatting with D, I have asked him to always be true to me, to always be honest and this is what I ask of everyone willing to build something with me. As I have written in the post below, I have found that D has not respected it and in the meanwhile, one of my “best friend” has done the same… For this “friend”, I can honestly say that “I don’t mind”, it’s her lost… When it comes to D, well…. at the moment, I don’t know “where we are”… I have not heard of him for 2 days… Can he just not face the truth? Is he sick? Is he still alive? :'(  I have no clues and I hope to find out soon… But I forgave him because my love for him is greatest than those mistakes…

I stop there, my thoughts are all messed up… I am scared that I may have lost my best friend, my lover, my soulmate… because I’ve been speaking the truth, My Truth…

Much Love ALWAYS xox

Isabelle

Trusting my feelings

I am this kind of person who doesn’t really make plans… I live my Life as it goes and yes, I do trust my feelings a lot! Well, I used to!

I am into a relationship with a man that I met online, on Facebook. I had had chats with a lot of people there and it was right but nothing serious. At my first chat with D, I have felt something I had never felt before… At this moment, I could not explain what it was but I was attracted to him. I will not detail all what we have been throught now, I probably will in the future… This said, 2 years and 3 months have passed since our first conversation and I have had many trust issues. Why? I can’t explain, it was just a feeling… but oh my… this feeling was deep and always present, no matter what he told me. We have had a lot of fights over it; I was constantly searching for the thruth, until the day when I asked him if he would give me access to his Facebook account.

He accepted. I was kinda nervous but I knew that I had to do this. I had to see if my feelings were right… I knew exactly what I was searching for and I found it quite easily. Arghhhhh how angry I was! You should see the messages I sent him, man, I have been mean!!! But you know what? I had to “empty my bag”.  Of course, as I was reading, I felt mixed emotions… Anger, sadness, betrayal, emptiness, etc…  I could not understand why he did what he did.

This night, I did not sleep… I was crying, crying and crying, so much that my body was hurting… until I finally realized that I felt “lighter”! The next day, he found out my messages and was kinda lost… On his way to work, he called me (at this point, I was not expecting a call). He was angry… and we had nothing to say but arguments. He still managed to end our conversation by telling me that he loves me. (Isn’t he amazing?!!)  The day went by, bringing a few downs but also a strenght that I was slowly getting back. His day at work ended and as he usualy does, he called me. We, I think, have had the truest conversation we’ve ever had… He admitted his mistakes and told me what it all meant to him, I told him what it all meant to me, and most of all, he recognized my feelings… Wow! I feel free now! Free of those doubts that I was carrying since the beginning…

This experience has been tough… But I know that having to face it, admit it, was probably the greatest thing that could happen at this time in my (our) Life… It tells me a lot about me: Yes I must trust my feelings, the good and the bad one! They are the lights guiding me throught my Life!

Much Love to all of you!

Isabelle

Broken…

It seems all my weekends are the same…. I’m waiting for a message, a call that never comes… or comes very late… I will take a nap…